The Secrets of Slumber
by PenInfatuation
Summary: What might've happened if Jace really had stayed with Luke and Clary during COA. HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

A/N -Before I begin this fiction I just want to say that An Evening Out is finished. I'm not going to update or add new chapters. I'm thinking about maybe making a sequel under a separate title but I'm noot sure as of yet. Sorry that the ending was unclear but I hope you enjoy this

One last word- Thank you to all the wonderful reviewers and readers- I love reading what you have to say and if there's anything you can think of to correct in my writing please say so. I want to improve as much as possible. Okay finally i'm done. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Enjoy!

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"You're lucky I favor big t-shirts" Clary said handing Jace one of her pajama tops. It was gray with big lettering for a comic con she'd been to. Jace took the shirt turning around wordlessly. Clary watched him strip for a moment, staring dazedly at the muscles rippling in his back before realizing suddenly that she was supposed to be looking in the other direction. Red heat burned her neck and she reminded herself – for hardly the first time that night- that she wasn't supposed to stare at Jace. That she wasn't supposed to be awed by what she saw but instead vaguely disgusted at the blond boy just for the simple fact of his existence. Clary bit her lip, she couldn't even _fathom _how she was supposed to do that and found that despite her mental protests she was still unable to peel her eyes away from Jace's lean and well muscled back.

"That's okay," Jace spoke confidently, as if even with his back turned he could sense Clary's gaze and corresponding embarrassment. A warm burning sensation twisted through Clary's stomach at the cocky assurance in his voice. She knew she wasn't supposed to be watching, was supposed to have averted her eyes by now but could only look away when the gray fabric of the tee met Jace's gold touched back. "I don't mind you watching," the blond boy saidand spun gracefully to face her. His gold eyes were confident and self assured- assured of Clary's undeniable attraction. Clary's face turned instant scarlet and she quickly averted her eyes. "Pants, you need pants right" she muttered trying to ignore the irregular pitter patter of her heart in her chest. Jace shrugged nonchalantly but his voice was serious when he spoke, "unless you prefer for me to sleep in the nude." His face was all sarcasm but his tone posed a real question and Clary's hand faltered on the handle of a drawer. Something inside her smoldered and spread an embarrassing pink across her cheeks. She felt Jace's eyes and knew that he saw her slight hesitation. _One night_, Clary's mind gritted out. Jace only needed a place to crash for _one night_ but already Clary was having difficulty with his presence. Clary breathed in a slow breath telling herself to just _deal_ with it; just _ignore_ his proximity, ignore the sight of him all golden angles and beautiful face and even more dazzling body. Clary almost groaned aloud. This was truly impossible.

"I can't give you anything of mine," she replied after a second and Jace noticed how she purposefully avoided his gaze. He frowned to himself. He hadn't meant to sound so serious, hadn't meant to sound so truthful- or hopeful. "Maybe Luke…" the girl mumbled then escaped quickly into another room. Jace sighed softly to himself. It had been like this since he'd gotten here. The air around their two bodies was so charged with electricity it could power a small machine. Jace hadn't realized seeing Clary in her own element would be so _intimate_. The petite girl was everywhere, a flash of red- splash of color around the messy apartment. The apartment itself was not obnoxiously large but it felt impossibly _small _whenever Jace and Clary happened to be in the same room. Her sweet floral scent lingered in rooms long after she'd left teasing Jace mercilessly, telling him if he could not suffer her touch he'd suffer her scent. Her half drunk coffee mug with a ring around the napkin under it lay on the kitchen counter, the imprint of her lips pressed against the cooling cup. There were special books set aside just for her and Jace had never felt more like he'd entered a private chamber- a world- _Clary's _world uninvited.

The redhead returned to the room feeling slightly more in control of her emotions. _It was a stupid comment_ she told herself once again, _nothing to freak out over_. So why was she still picturing Jace shirtless? Clary wrung the sweats in her hands, forcing the image out of her mind. Jace eyed the sweats in her hands and gave her a funny look. They were at least too sizes too big but Clary was too emotionally spent to care. Her determination was fraying and if she didn't get a moment free of Jace soon she knew something- probably her control- would snap. She pointed tiredly to the ties around the waist, "it has a drawstring." Jace nodded his assent and Clary was relieved to see that he took the sweats into the bathroom to change. The girl sank heavily onto the edge of the bed breathing out an exhausted breath. Her heart was racing too fast in her chest and she felt jittery like she'd drank too many coffees in too short a time. She sighed softly. It was a physical pain Clary felt around Jace. The ache of restraint; of touching him briefly, averting her eyes, never staring at the beautiful boy in front of her. It killed Clary to hide what she wanted so badly to be open and accepted but that was the reality when you were in love with your brother. Clary's hands covered her face, she didn't think she could take anymore.

Jace had only been here one afternoon but already the situation was becoming impossible. Everywhere Clary turned he was there- making her heart beat unnaturally fast, turning her hands suddenly clammy and causing her mind to shout loud exclamations of the detest she _should _feel- but didn't. Jace's gold eyes tempted and teased Clary everywhere she went- eating at the kitchen table with Luke, sitting on the sofa watching TV and just a moment ago standing in the guest room, her bedroom. Clary could find no respite. His gaze made her transparent, his eyes could see past her resolve, see the burning flames of desire seething under her skin. Worse, was that the longer Jace stayed the harder it was for Clary to control herself, remind herself that they _were _brother and sister. Hot unashamed want swept through Clary and she wished fleetingly that there was some other place for Jace to go, some Shadowhunter safe haven, then she mentally kicked herself. What kind of sister was she trying to dump her brother on someone else? _The kind that wishes you weren't a sister_ an unwanted voice whispered. Clary held her head in her hands, shaking it with frustration. Why did this have to be so complicated? Clary wished she could think her feelings- then at least they'd make some sense.

That's how Jace found the redhead when he walked back into the room minutes later; her head in her hands. "You alright" he asked with eyes narrowed in concern. Clary's red hair was splayed over her hands appearing as blood over sweet ivory. Jace hesitated at the edge of the doorway realizing he'd walked in on a private moment. He could recognize similarities in Clary's bowed position- it was the same one he'd taken many times trying to riddle out _how_ exactly he'd managed to fall for the _only _person he was not allowed to love. Jace groaned softly; knowing that he was once again the cause of her distress. It was an unimaginable feeling- knowing that your love was killing someone else, that the only good thing- _right thing _you've ever felt made the person you loved sick. Clary looked up startled by Jace's approach and he felt his heart pause its beat as her gaze roved over him. He stood motionless, chin tilted slightly, daring her to find something about him that she didn't like. He knew she wouldn't- that she _couldn't_. Jace was fully aware of the effect he had on Clary, already knew that she thought he was beautiful and yet, his heart continued to hesitate- to wait for Clary to finish her inspection before it could start again. Jace wished she would hurry. The power of her gaze had his muscles pulled taut, fighting against the feelings she so badly wanted to pretend didn't exist between them.

"Yeah I'm fine" Clary answered. She stood swiftly, breaking off the stare she'd initiated but noticed how Jace's chest heaved a breath as if he'd been holding it. Clary tried to look away but Jace's eyes caught her, searing her with his intensity; making it that much harder to be alone _together-_ _in her bedroom_. The silence was tense as Jace's gaze flicked to Clary's bed and away. "The couch is kind of lumpy" he admitted in a slow strange voice. Clary frowned at the sound. She couldn't remember Jace ever sounding so _strained _before. Her eyes immediately sought his but he wouldn't look at her, only resting his gaze on the things past or around her- especially not looking at her bed. Clary stared in quiet confusion before realizing that Jace felt awkward. The realization only served to remind her of her own accelerated heart rate and _why _exactly that was. Jace stood in front of Clary radiating golden light that she could never have for herself. _Awkward _was something Clary understood all too well. She sighed, "sorry but Luke is kind of into antiques. It took me forever to convince him that he should get a tempurpedic and even now he swears that box springs are the be all and end all of-" Clary bit off the end of her sentence realizing she was rambling. She clasped her hands together to quell the nervous tremble shaking them. This was _just _Jace, she told her frantically beating heart. The same Jace who was sarcastic and annoying and obnoxious she told her trembling hands. The same Jace that leaves your heart hurting, her body said back, makes your blood bubble in your veins, it said, the same Jace that- Clary cut off her thoughts before the strength of their truths had her ripping down the walls of progress she'd made.

Jace's face was amused and cautious as he regarded her. "Could I sleep here" he asked suddenly. All the air rushed out of Clary's chest like she'd been sucker punched. "What?!" she asked alarmed by his question. Her heart felt like a hum in her chest and Clary was sure her temperature had climbed several degrees. Jace shrugged casually but his eyes smoldered with an intense heat. It was terrible to see but even worse to feel and Clary could feel the burn. "I would sleep on the couch and everything," Jace continued. "But it looks like it could swallow me," he said, "and I don't want impose on Luke anymore than I have already." Clary blinked at him- Jace had said that so smoothly; not one inflection in his tone nor anything in his eyes to hint at fallacy. Except, of course, the fact that it wasn't true. Clary's head felt unnaturally light but she forced her body to be rigid.

Jace saw the internal struggle she was having- knew that she felt just as he. That what he asked was wrong, but they both wanted so badly for it to be right. Restraint between them was labored and Jace knew that he was not making it any easier for either of them, but couldn't bring himself to care. His mind was intoxicated with images of Clary. Clary in his arms, Clary's hands around his neck pulling him down to meet her lips with his, Clary's body huddled into his. Pleasure spread through his body as an angry voice yelled at him. _Sister, your sister_ it shouted. Jace's smirk was purely mental as he thought, _I know_.

Clary shivered knowing that she should refuse, her mind was screaming at her, every moral she'd ever heard, every story about some girl who'd made one wrong decision and ruined her life was coming back to taunt her as Clary found her mouth opening and saying, "okay." Jace didn't smile or make any kind of victorious expression that would give her any reason to think he wanted to sleep in her bed for any other reason besides materialistic comfort. He didn't even act as though he enjoyed the idea of what he'd proposed. But that didn't stop nervous excitement from transforming into a shiver that ran up Clary's spine as Jace moved to pull back the covers on the bed, turning to ask her only, "what side?" Clary's mouth felt dry and full of cotton but she managed to mumble something about the right and Jace slid fluidly onto the left. Clary couldn't help but stare in awed shock at the beautiful blond boy- marveling at how his golden touched skin seemed to make him glow in the drab bedroom. Jace's eyes held hers in a bond that was unbreakable- Clary had heard Jace's casual words, saw his shoulders sag in a shrug, all casual, uncaring things. These actions were immediately cancelled out by the passion in his gaze now- his eyes burnt her like a branding iron. She was his.

"Are you going to stand there all night" Jace asked her calmly. His voice broke her reverie and Clary shook her head. "I'm going to change" she mumbled then grabbed the first items of clothing she touched and walked quickly into the bathroom. When Clary shut the door behind her, her hands were shaking. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her cheeks were flaming pink things on her face. "Breathe" Clary coached herself quietly. She'd never had this kind of reaction to Jace before. But he'd never asked to sleep with her before either. Clary's stomach was so full of fluttery butterflies she thought it would hover around inside her. "Relax" she commanded herself as she stared into the mirror for full effect. What she saw didn't help. The girl in the mirror was cute like a child, not beautiful like Isabelle or sexy even. Her hair was redder than red a bright flame on her head, her lips slim, nose slender, her face still slightly rounded with youth, her eyes the only slightly rectifying quality- a piercing shade of green. Even with them though, Clary looked too much like a child. She wished that her features were more mysterious, exotic but took the thought back quickly, Jace didn't want someone exotic or different- he wanted Clary.

Clary was taking a long time in the bathroom but Jace lay in the bed patiently waiting for her return. His mind kept rewinding Clary's reaction to his words- how she'd been stunned but not disgusted. Not aghast with abhorrence but almost eager. And she hadn't said no, hadn't told him what they both already knew- that any kind of relationship was impossible, that any kind of _anything_ was impossible. Jace looked up suddenly at the sight of Clary in the doorway. He wondered again why Clary didn't know she was beautiful- how she could be oblivious of her own delicate feminine beauty. She was truly the most beautiful girl he had ever seen- captivating him with more than just her face. Clary had this way of making Jace feel right, something he'd only ever felt with his father. Jace belonged somewhere- with Clary. His heart beat a feverish rhythm in his chest, it was just as utterly destroyed by this girl as Jace .

This was a bad idea Clary knew. Jace shouldn't be in her room, shouldn't be in her bed, but Clary's legs moved towards the bed anyway and her hands pulled back the sheets to slip under them. Jace was silent as Clary climbed in the bed with him. Neither one of them said anything; the only things heard in the room were the accelerated beats of their hearts and the slightly shallow puffs of air coming from both of them. Clary knew she should feel overcome with guilt, shame or even trepidation at what she was doing but was surprised to feel none. Nothing but the pounding of her blood in her veins and the burning power desire had as it rushed through her body. Her body ached in its rigidity to go pliant, to melt into Jace's warmth, breath in the scent of the Shadowhunter boy. Clary held herself tightly on the edge of the bed. She was cold in her flimsy pajama and knew with aching truth that Jace would be warm, that his touch would make her body go instantly hot but Clary could not move that short distance to him. Though she and Jace were lying in the same bed under the same blankets and sheets they might as well have been sleeping on separate continents. "The lights" Jace said breaking the silence. Clary reached over to close her light but found the lack of light only heightened her senses- and desire. Her body tingled, all senses tuned to Jace. She could hear the slight movement of air coming in and out of his nose. If she strained she could almost hear his heartbeat or maybe it was her own pounding in her ears. "Isabelle and Alec shared a bed when they were little" Jace said very softly, shifting minutely in the bed. Clary couldn't respond to him. Her breath was caught in her chest- her entire body was burning though he wasn't even touching her. His presence so obviously close to hers was suddenly overwhelming and she felt she was drowning in a sea of gold.

"You don't have to be nervous" Jace told her after a paused moment. Clary lay impossibly quiet and still next to him. She must be feeling what he was Jace thought- must be almost quaking with tension pulled to its thinnest rope- she _must _be, but Clary was silent and the quiet taunted him. His own pounding heartbeat, nervously trembling hands embarrassed him by the lack of reciprocation on her part. Jace couldn't stand the idea that the redhead felt nothing, that she was lying casually next to him as if this were really nothing, like they truly were only brother and sister with nothing more. Jace himself was fraying- on the very edge of reaching over to grab Clary, to kiss her, pining back her arms and leaning over her so he could feel the furious pound of her heart against his. Feelings were like millions of open wires zapping Jace and he couldn't distinguish one from the other, knowing only that he could feel. Could feel his held back passion banked and waiting. "I'm not nervous" Clary whispered back finally and Jace was intensely relieved at the tone in her voice. It was shot and husky- low. A shiver almost ran down his spine at the sound but Jace only smiled, "then why are you so far away" he asked her. Clary didn't speak for a long moment and the silence was narrated by the steady tick tock of the clock in the hallway. Desire mixed with anxiety in Jace's chest and he felt for a nervous second that Clary didn't want this- that she was ashamed. The pain that thought caused him was something he'd like to forget but knew he probably could not.

"Clary if you want me to go" Jace said rustling the sheets as he moved to get up-"No" she exclaimed suddenly. Jace stared at the small ivory hand that had snaked out lightning fast to hold him. Her grip was tight and possessive and Jace couldn't help but notice. Clary loosened her hold self-consciously, "no, stay" she whispered so softly Jace had to strain to hear. He opened his mouth to object about to say that he was wrong, that _this_ was wrong but was interrupted by Clary shaking her head. "I want you to stay" she said the words slowly, testing them out on her tongue. They were heavy but sweet and as soon as they were out Clary knew that they were true. That as soon as she'd known Jace would be staying over she knew this would be the result. She'd been fighting it all day long, trying desperately to escape the truth of her own feelings. Jace climbed slowly back into bed and Clary's heart sang in her chest, declaring the truth with its loud pound against her ribs. Jace's body was silhouetted by the shadows of the room and the pale moonlight coming in through the window. She saw how his chest rose and sank and knew that if she reached over to place her hand over his heart their beats would match. Clary sank back under covers realizing she couldn't run anymore, but as she turned to face Jace- she knew she didn't want to.

Jace moved to face Clary. He couldn't hear her rapid heartbeat but was sure now that it coupled his; that her breath was choking in her lungs too, that she felt hot- though it was quite cool. Jace tried to suppress the shake in his hand but knew that it trembled just slightly as he reached out to stroke Clary's bare arm. The petite girl sighed closing her eyes and inched her way closer to him. Jace's heart thrummed angrily in his chest but he was patient, caressing her arm with the ease and tenderness of old lovers who knew the value of time. Clary shivered at Jace's touch, warmth unfurled in her core spreading through her body like a flower blooming inside her. Clary moved slowly, hesitantly over to Jace, careful not to break the spell they were both under. All the lights were off in the house, the only illumination coming from the moon washing them in a milky glow. And the moon didn't judge them, didn't make faces or disgusted comments when Clary's leg bumped against Jace's and in all of a blink he was pulling her toward him and her arms were around his neck. It didn't do anything but bathe them in its light- immerse them in the safety and privacy of its glow as they shared their own long awaited moment.

Jace felt Clary shudder into his chest as his lips caught hers. Felt the girl run her hands through his hair and sigh into his touch. The building tension between them dissipated at that first touch and Jace's hands came around Clary's waist to pull her body closer to him. Clary kissed Jace back, unable to believe that she was doing this- that it wasn't just another one of her dreams. The only thing that kept her from passing it off as terribly real fantasy was the feel of Jace's tremendous heartbeat thudding against her own. Jace rolled over, cushioning Clary's body to his as he moved. The girl now lay underneath him, pinned between her brother and the bed. She smiled into his touch and pecked Jace's lips gently. Jace kissed her back but pulled away slowly and stared speechless at the girl in his arms. Clary stared back, her small fingers ran up and down Jace's chest sending tremors of desire rippling through him. Jace squeezed his eyes shut as Clary's hand carefully slipped under his shirt. Her hands gently traced the thin scars left by runes, recreating old patterns with her nail. Jace's mouth opened involuntarily and a rough breath escaped his mouth at the redhead's intoxicating touch. Deep in Jace's mind a voice was screaming at him- telling him this was not how his sister should touch him that he wouldn't touch Isabelle like this. Jace couldn't help but look down at the small redhead snuggled to his chest, running her fingers delightedly up and down his chest. This was _not_ Isabelle.

Clary's fingers were eager for the feel of Jace's skin and she continued to run them over the hard smoothness of his chest. Jace was a warrior and had the body of one. His chest was all tightly knit muscle and hard sinew. His skin scattered with scars left from the numerous runes he'd received during his life. Clary's hand flattened so her palm was spread across Jace's chest and she was making slow rubbing motions as his hands gently swept up her back, enjoying the feel of her smooth skin uninterrupted by clingy fabric. Small shivers lit up Clary's spine at Jace's touch. She felt the soft rumble of his chest as he hummed a song- whispering words she couldn't understand, maybe French, under his breath. Somewhere deep buried in the back of Clary's mind she knew that this was not how siblings acted if they slept in the same bed- knew that this was not what Alec and Isabelle had done. Yet she could not bring herself to stop, could not detach herself from Jace's chest where she felt so right. Could not stop the contented sigh that exited her mouth when one of his hands reached up to run through her hair. Could not stop herself from tilting her head upwards and kissing him gently on the jaw. Clary knew that in the morning they'd have to pretend, would have to go back- but if this was what awaited the night, Clary thought, then she could surely stand the day.

Jace's hand stroked Clary's cheek the way he always wanted but was never _allowed_. His lips were soft and slow against hers- not like their first kiss which had been rough and passionate- this was different. Both parties worked hard to tame their wild animalistic passion, turning it into something sweet and tender. Their lips met in a fluid sensual dance, exchanging wordless intentions- explaining themselves in the ways they never could out loud. When they parted Clary rested her head on Jace's chest and smiled when he took her hand, twining his fingers between hers. Jace's arm lay lightly across Clary's back and Clary's hair spread over his chest like splatter paint across all white gold. They both lay quietly; slow breaths out of rapidly rising and falling chests- with even faster heartbeats. They both knew that in the light of the waking morning Clary's hand in Jaces's could _only_ be obligatory comfort- that the arm he'd thrown lightly over her back was _strictly_ brotherly protectiveness. But in slumber- the dark world where no one could see- they could be as they were- they could _feel_. And the pale moon outside watching was like a friend and it kept their secrets as they slept.

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Okey Dokey- I'll probably update soon but don't expect more than a couple chapters from this- I'm not really writing big stories right now. So expect like 3-4 maybe 5 chapter stories but nothing like 10- 20. But hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and you review thanks for that too!


	2. Interlude to A Waking

Okay I changed my mind and I did split the original second chapter into two but I once I upload chapter 3 I think you'll be happy I didn't combine them. I have Chappie 3 written out all it needs is editing, chappie four is in my head and will take a bit, Chapter five- I'm not even sure if it exists but if it does it will take a while.

Okay so finally a big thank you to all the readers and reviewers out there. You guys are a big help. Thank you so much.

Mortal Instruments Characters/world not mine- situations all mee.

(Once again please view as a full document thank you-and if all my stories could be read as such that'd be great. )

Read, Enjoy!

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Clary woke with her head nuzzled against Jace's chest. A smile immediately stretched across the redhead's face as she felt the familiar thump of Jace's heartbeat and remembered how she'd passed the night- in his arms. Clary's exposed cheek was cold from the breeze blowing through the open window but her body was warm and tingling. Sometime during sleep, unaware to both, the siblings had drawn closer. Clary's leg now laid between Jace's, her body pressing into the hard lines of his torso. The exchange of body heat between her and Jace had kept Clary warm all night. The girl's eyes fluttered as she adjusted to the daylight - she missed the beautiful wash of moon as it streamed through the window, but missed most all the feel of Jace's lips on her own promising her sweet absolution from her sins.

Jace breathed in slow even breaths, the air from his nose rustling Clary's hair slightly. Jace was beautiful asleep. His face was relaxed; free from any taint or strain, or mask of condescension and sarcasm. In sleep Jace looked innocent, _angelic_ and uncorrupted. Asleep it was impossible to view him as a warrior, killing demons or breaking hearts. His face was just too peaceful with the slightest smile turning up the corner of his lips. Clary wanted to kiss it, to taste that sweet peace for herself. She settled for a gently placed peck under his jaw and sighed at the scent wafting off Jace's neck. It was soapy and clean but with the slight tang of runes and a smell Clary recognized as purely Jace. The redhead glanced up at him wondering if Jace felt the same way as she; that waking up in each other's arms was the epitome of bliss. The Shadowhunter's eyes were still closed however so she settled instead for laying her head against Jace's chest, using it as a pillow the same way she had the night before. Staring out the open window, Clary wished she could live in the perfection of this moment forever; listening to Jace's heartbeat, the lullaby she'd fallen asleep to.

"Morning" Jace spoke softly into Clary's hair. His hand squeezed their still entangled fingers and his free arm rubbed her back where it still lay protectively. A slight shiver ran down Clary's spine at the friction of his touch. "Morning" she whispered back, tilting her head up to blond boy. Jace's golden eyes twinkled in the new light; each gleaming golden orb holding a small smile for the girl currently in his arms. Clary couldn't hold in her smile, it seeped out her. Whatever would happen with the light of day would be worth it, Clary thought as she looked into Jace's open face. The shutters he hid his feelings behind were pulled apart letting the truth shine through. It was all worth it, if Clary could wake up to that expression on Jace's face- that unfettered love.

"Did you sleep well" Jace asked with a small knowing smile. The small girl had not been aware of her actions as she slept but Jace had- his heart had taken notice each time she sighed and cuddled closer to his chest, each time she'd unconsciously puckered her lips in a kiss and even when once she'd let out a breathy mumble that sounded like a happy sigh, '_Jace._'

"Yes, did you" Clary replied. Jace smiled; a real one without bitter humor but pure affection. How could he not, he wondered, with Clary nestled in his arms. "Never slept better" the blond boy admitted. "But then again" he added, "I've never had you as a sleeping companion." Clary's cheeks warmed but Jace only held her closer. He saw the sun already rising in the sky and understood their unspoken promise but didn't want to give up this carefree moment with Clary so soon. A small breath exited Clary's mouth at the shared view. How was it that night had parted so quickly? It seemed to Clary that only moments ago she was agreeing to this _thing _in the first place. And now the rising sun was shining through the crisp air reminding both siblings that their moment was doomed to end.

"Time to pretend" Jace asked, a little sour note entering his once bright voice. Clary nodded sadly, her heart was already pounding its refusal while her mind was singing praises; it was convinced she was finally developing common sense. Clary frowned at the picturesque view outside her window but was the first to pull away. A rush of cold air chilled her body immediately and she wished she could blanket herself in Jace's touch, but knew that would only making leaving harder; so she rubbed her arms instead and climbed slowly out of the warm bed.

"Oh mon amour, ma vie est un mensonge, mais vous mon amour sont la vérité," Jace whispered softly to himself. Clary's feet sank onto the old carpeting and made small padding noises as she positioned herself carefully in front of a full length mirror. "What's that" she asked Jace as she ran small ivory fingers through flaming red hair, pulling out invisible knots with insistence. Clary's hair wasn't knotty, but she felt that it would be easier to keep her promise intact if she didn't have to _look_ at Jace. The Shadowhunter boy didn't feel the same way. From his gradually cooling spot in the bed he stared at Clary, letting his eyes take a picture of her he'd never forget. She was intent on pulling out each strand of hair and Jace would have stopped her- if it were night, but he'd made a promise and was intent on keeping it. He would be her brother during the day and her lover at night- whatever that entailed. Jace glanced briefly at the sun- now climbing even more steadily in the bright dome of blue, and thought impatiently that night couldn't possibly come fast enough.

"French poem" Jace finally replied swinging his legs out of bed. Clary watched from the corner of her eye as he rose fluidly. Jace was still wearing Clary's oversized shirt and the baggy sweats she'd borrowed from Luke, his hair was tousled and his eyes sleepy, yet he still managed to exude that cool confidence and grace that went with being Jace. There weren't many times when he let that face fall but this morning had been one of those times. Now however, with his usual air put on Clary had to wonder if it had even happened and found that the urge to run into Jace's arms and check was overwhelming. Biting her lip didn't help and neither did slow breaths through her nose. Jace's scent lingered on Clary's skin adding fuel to her already burning fire.

The bedroom was cool and bright with a crisp breeze flooding through the open twin windows raising hairs on Clary's arms but the memory of Jace's hands on her skin kept her determinedly warm. The girl shook her head and released her aching lip before the pressure of her teeth accidently broke the skin. "What's it mean" Clary asked in an attempt to distract herself. Jace's scent was driving her insane, teasing the crackling flames under skin like gasoline on fresh tinder. She had no idea how she could begin to pretend things were normal between her and Jace after the night they'd shared. One discreet glance at Jace told Clary things were barely normal now. _This is what you get for sleeping with your brother_ her mind scolded. Clary's eyebrows knitted together in frustration and she pushed away the thought forcefully. Through the angled view of the mirror Clary could see a sliver of Jace's face, his jaw tight and strangely silent. She was about to ask again what he'd said when he finally spoke.

"Oh my love, my life is such a life," Jace recited bitterly, "but you my love are the truth." Clary blinked in surprise. Jace spoke the words in a resigned way, as though both he and the author of the poem had accepted their fates. Guilt stung Clary and she spun immediately on her heel. Jace's expression was closed but his gaze resting _just_ on the window and the rigidity of his posture told her that he found the idea of pretending just as abhorant as she.

"Jace" Clary said softly and moved towards him, but was stopped by the door suddenly swinging open, halting her mid-step. "Clary I'm going to"- Luke's voice cut off abruptly when he saw Jace in Clary's room. His eyes widened and immediately went to the bed with the obviously rumpled covers pulled back on either side, then straight to Clary and Jace. Clary's body froze, her mouth glued shut with instant shame and her heart thumped feverishly in her chest. Her face turned colors, pale pink to burning red then a pale ivory, almost sickly looking gray. All Clary could feel was the slowing stop of her blood in her veins and her held in breath burning in her chest. Luke's face was open in surprise but his jaw was also locked- so not even slow rising breaths could be heard in the deathly quiet room. The silence transcended time and Clary thought she'd endured this momentary pause for years. No one knew what to say and the bed, once a beautiful symbol of Jace and Clary's love turned into an ugly stain.

"Clary had a nightmare" Jace's voice broke the tense quiet. His calm face was comically different from the barely concealed guilt ridden expression present on his sister's face and Luke's bewildered countenance. Luke's baggy sweats hung incredibly low on Jace hips even with the drawstring pulled at its tightest, but he managed to walk with surreal grace across the room. "I heard her screaming and came in. She was pretty shaken up so I stayed," Jace lied smoothly.

Luke nodded pleased to accept the other option- not the sinful answer staring him in the face. "I didn't hear you at all" Luke turned and confessed to Clary, feeling slightly embarrassed at the ridiculous conclusion his mind had automatically jumped to. "I woke her before she got too loud," Jace said again, sparing Clary from speaking. She wasn't sure she could anyway. Her body was frozen and she only managed to croak out a "where are you going" to Luke because Jace shot her a hard glare before disappearing into the hallway.

"The hospital," Luke answered easily, all previous thoughts forgotten. If only it were so easy for the redhead. Clary's hands were shaking behind her back. "I was wondering if you wanted to come with me" Luke asked. Clary shook her head jerkily. "I might drop by later though" she added. Luke nodded and with one last circumspect glance at Clary's bed left the room. Clary's tensed shoulders instantly sagged. She raised a trembling hand to her heart- it was racing with adrenaline and fear from their near discovery. Clary wondered again what she'd gotten herself into- a world of secrets and lies surely, but she knew glancing back at the bed where she and Jace's bodies had lain only moments ago that there was no going back. The night awaited her and Clary wanted to meet it.

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Thanks for Reading!


	3. A Waking

Yay I finally updated! I'll spare you the overview of my hectic life and just get on with a few important notes.

This is took me forever and a day but unfortunately the wait for the next chapter won't be any shorter. I haven't even written it out yet- and I'm going to be very busy the next few weeks. I will try to get on here and post up some oneshots- maybe start up a drabble series.

As always I want to say thank you to all the readers/reviews/alerters and favoriters you guys are a big help to me and I really appreciate the feedback. I also tried to apply some of your critiques below. So thank you again.

I do have a favor to ask- yes a favor- it is small and it would immensely help with Chapter Four. If you could in a PM or a review -either one is fine- tell me the name of your favorite contemporary artist, or even any contemporary artist you know that would really help me write Chapter four.{Note: an artist as in someone who paints, not a singer} Normally I do all my research by myself and I'm going to but the extra names will really help me and if you have a fav painting by the artist as well i'll try to work that into the story.

Also I have been thinking of bumping up the rating on this fic to M. I really feel that my word choice is being a bit stifled by the rating but I wanted to get your opinion first. It would definately leave me free to describe more in detail. And those of you wondering, no this doesn't mean I'll be writing any sex scenes- at least not in this fic. Let me know what you think please.

One last tidbit- I will no longer be putting up a disclaimer on my stories- it's on my profile. So all those looking to sue can look there.(Please view as full screen doc. there are quite a few paragraphs)

This chapter is dedicated to a friend of mine whose father died recently. And Finally...without further ado...

Read, Enjoy!

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It was hot and Clary's lashes were heavy; laden with the foggy condensation filling the tiny room. It was hard to keep them open, especially with Jace's hot breath teasing her sensitized skin. Each puff of breath tickled Clary's neck and filled her cheeks with a dark blush. Her heart vibrated happily, like a hummingbird in her chest as Jace's fingers moved without restraint on her skin. His touch was insatiably curious, lingering in places they shouldn't; teasing Clary's flesh with his gentle motions. Primal emotions Clary shouldn't feel pooled in her core, bubbling hotly and reminding her with every mild touch that she and Jace were standing very close, and they were also nude. Very nude.

_This is wrong_, Clary thought as she rested her head against the white tiled wall. There was virtually no space between her and Jace's bodies and she could feel every inch of his skin pressed against her own in a way that could only be described as deliciously wrong.

Jace's damp touch wound around Clary's waist and the girl smiled as his fingertips brushed against her naked thighs. Each press of his fingers against Clary's moist skin lit a small fire inside her that burst to life then quickly died out. But for the moment it flamed, it consumed Clary; filling her with painful longing and need. Her heart pitter pattered excitedly and she couldn't help the trill that swept up her spine.

_This is dangerous_, Clary's mind repeated but she made no effort to stop Jace when his lips gently kissed her neck. Her knees knocked together and she had to hastily reach down and stop them. They continued to tremble despite Clary's best efforts.

It took all her might to just stand there and breathe while Jace's hands travelled over her slick body. Each time his fingers ran down Clary's spine she shivered and gasped.

Clary felt dizzy and suddenly short of breath. Her eyes were squeezed shut and Clary was sure if she opened them the shower would spin endlessly. Her heart thundered in her chest like a storm. Her pink mouth opened to drag in a necessary lungful of air but it was difficult. The small space was dense with fog, making the air thick and hard to breathe. Not that the redhead could inhale much with her heart in her throat. Jace's touch didn't help the situation either. His hands took advantage of her bowed position and cupped her bottom igniting dozens of small fires on Clary's skin and a shameful ache between her legs.

Molten heat flashed in her middle as Jace's curious touch continued to freely explore her bare skin. His hands were everywhere all at once and Clary couldn't keep track. All she could do was succumb to the burning feeling as Jace left his mark all over her skin. It was perfect. His lips, his hands, his teeth, his tongue pressed to her skin creating sensations Clary could barely stand to feel let alone describe.

It was heaven; the only sour note spoiling the ecstasy were the large droplets of water balancing on Clary's lashes. Her eyes fluttered rapidly, trying to remove the irritation but they were persistent in their stay. Her fingers itched to wipe the droplets away, but Clary suppressed the feeling. She didn't want to move. Each second she stood motionless was another moment spent reveling in Jace's intoxicating touch. The Shadowhunter was completely silent behind her; but his hands lightly swirling patterns on her hips spoke thousands of words for him.

Dizzying emotions popped and exploded in Clary's body, transforming Jace's light gestures against her skin into euphorically sensual strokes. Red hot need clawed at her skin; scratching the ivory girl, so passion ran down her pale body like blood. A loud breathy sigh escaped Clary as Jace's whole hand swept up her stomach and chest, raising goosebumps on her flesh as he went. Clary's cheeks flamed and she was glad for the moment that her eyes were shut and her back was to Jace. She didn't have to see the self-satisfied grin dancing on his lips.

The droplets balancing on the tips of Clary's lashes were as big and heavy as real teardrops now. They frustrated her to no end and she finally had to blink them away. It was only an instant but when Clary's lashes parted Jace's touch was gone. His warming presence against her back disappeared, same for his hands that only seconds ago lay firmly on her waist. Clary wiped her eyes and turned around; the shower was empty. The only other thing present in the confined area was the whooshing water coming from the showerhead. Her lip surrendered to her teeth as she realized that Jace had been an illusion- a shattered one at that.

A tired groan brushed past her lips as twin droplets of water ran over her naked chest. The watery trail they left behind was a poor imitation of the real thing and Clary wondered how she'd deluded herself into thinking it was Jace in the shower with her. It was pathetic, she chastised herself. But it had felt so _real, _her body reminded her and she frowned. Her hand against her chest told her she'd also fooled her heart. It was still beating fiercely and even with deep breaths it was hard to slow the rapid pound.

Forceful torrents from the showerhead uncurled Clary's flaming locks, so they lay straight against her ivory back. She was ashamed to admit, even to herself that she would've imagined it as Jace's fingers running through her hair. Self pity tasted bitter in Clary's mouth and she shook her head. The wet strands slapped her face and the brief sting was enough to clear her scattered mind. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for her heart. The muscle was still racing, creating a steady vibration in Clary's chest and a reminder of her masochistic imagination.

This was all her fault. If she had just refused Jace last night none of this would be happening. Once again, Clary had denied her common sense much to her own detriment. Her small hands curled into tight fists. Her skin felt pruny from the hot water but she didn't turn it off. The longer she stayed in the shower, the longer she could avoid Jace. Deep down Clary knew that she did not _really _want to avoid the Shadowhunter, but the new face he'd be wearing.

Jace was the only person Clary knew who could place his emotions behind an iron mask, so thick and camouflaging it became him. Clary knew what she felt and knew that it was impossible to hide; that though she tried it shone through her tawdry mask.

The desperate girl fiddled with the tub spouts but still couldn't manage to turn the water off. Her skin was no longer pale ivory but a delicate pink and any second the hot water was going to run out. But every second in the shower was another second where she could feel. As soon as she stepped out of the shower and into her bedroom she'd be bound by her promise; she'd have to pretend. The nausea that thought created couldn't be burned away with heat.

_I'm being selfish,_ Clary thought. This is hard for Jace too. Clary'd seen his face just before he'd escaped into the hall. The bitter controlled agony that he wanted to hide. Jace was clearly as tormented as her. _But he's not hiding in the bathroom_, Clary reminded herself. He wasn't buying time. If Clary wanted this, _really_ wanted this, she couldn't complain each time morning came. _Just one more minute_, she argued with herself but it didn't matter. The water seized that moment to drop several degrees cooler in temperature and Clary's hand snaked out instantly to turn the rusty handle. The rush of water shuddered to a stop and she stood shivering in the shower; rubbing away the goosebumps on her arms. The room was silent save for her own noisy breaths. Clary glanced mournfully at the water slipping through the drain. She hated the shower's abrupt end, but had to reluctantly admit that it was time to stop hiding.

Pulling back the shower curtain revealed hazy clouds of steam. Clary fumbled blindly around in the heat for a moment, before finding her towel and vigorously drying off. The motion of the terrycloth against her skin was abrasive; as if she was trying to remove the stain of her impure thoughts, but they'd bled in too deep on her once innocent skin. With a last liberating breath Clary turned the handle on the bathroom door. The fogged metal knob didn't give. The door was jammed in its post. Clary rolled her eyes, remembering how she had told Jace last night that Luke _loved_ his antiques. After the morning Clary had had she didn't want to exert any more patience, especially not with a stubborn door. She jiggled the knob expertly and simultaneously gave the door a firm kick.

It swung open and hot vapor rushed out of the bathroom like a sigh behind her. Steam licked at Clary's freshly cleansed skin like a hot finger down her back. The fog was thick and hot, enveloping Clary temporarily before she parted it with crisp waves. The rumpled bed covers were hidden by the steam and Clary waved away the clouds apprehensively. She didn't want to see the twin imprints on both pillows and feel that sudden surge of guilt pounce on her stomach as she remembered her sinful night with Jace. But when the fog cleared the guilt never came.

The bed was made. Perfectly made; with the sheets pulled tight on either side and probably even folded under the mattress like the redhead never did. Even the normally lumpy comforter seemed to have submitted to the controlled force. Clary's hands nervously fingered her powder blue tee. She knew only one person whose rigid control could tame something as feral as Luke's bedroom set.

Jace had made the bed. He knew as soon as he saw Clary's guilt and shame ridden face, that there was no way she could relive the fruits of her torment twice. All the small girl would see when reentering the room was the promise she shouldn't have made and the night she shouldn't have spent. The blond boy leaned against the kitchen counter, fingering the crumbs left from Luke's morning toast.

Maryse wouldn't have stood for a crummy counter. She would have cleaned it off until it gleamed with unearthly cleanliness. Jace's eyebrows furrowed, he didn't want to think of Maryse- the reason he was bumming on Luke's couch instead of sleeping in his own bed. Well was _supposed_ to be bumming. When Jace had told Clary last night that the couch looked like it could swallow him, he hadn't been joking. Of course now it seemed the Shadowhunter would have to find out for himself. There was only so long he and Clary could skate past fate, and they'd already been caught today. The remembered look of shame on Clary's face stung a corrosive burn in Jace's chest. He understood the horrified expression on her face but wished greatly that Clary never had to feel that kind of guilt. That their connection did not have to include their last names.

Jace had killed many demons, had suffered the scars resulting from their touch, but none plagued him quite like his own inner fiends. The boy closed his eyes as he forced himself back under control. Unbidden the memory of Clary's body, pressed so undeservedly into his, disrupted his calm. Jace's jaw clenched with uncertainty. His mind told him how wrong he was, but his body reminded him otherwise; teasing him with images of Clary, recreating her sudden warmth only to mock him. Something that felt so right couldn't be wrong, his body told him. And Jace believed it because there was no doubt that waking to Clary nestled in his arms was right. _Absolutely_ right.

"Hey," Clary's soft voice hesitantly reached Jace's ears. His face remained unsurprised as he turned to look at her. Clary's footfalls, though soft and careful on the abused wood floor, creaked just slightly enough to alert Jace to her presence beforehand. _If only_, Jace's mind chortled sardonically, _you had been so alert this morning_. Jace's jaw tightened again. He hated it when the voice was right and it was. The Shadowhunter should have been more careful, should have been paying more attention; but Jace found that whenever Clary was involved he was prone to slipping up.

Glancing at her he saw the petite girl had taken a shower. Her red hair fell in her face dripping water into her eyes. Jace's fingers twitched but he ignored the pointless desire to touch her hair. No need to worsen his suffering unnecessarily, standing in front of her was enough.

Clary pushed the dampened tendrils behind her ears obliviously and Jace averted his eyes. Maybe that's why they called it _falling_ in love, Jace thought, because he must've fallen. Fallen and hit his head.

"Is Luke gone" Clary asked tentatively. A small pink blush dotted her cheeks as if she was secretly embarrassed about something. Her eyes kept attempting to meet his then fell halfway to the floor. Jace nodded but continued to look away from Clary. It helped his sanity if he didn't have to look at her too long. Each time he felt the desire to stare the reminder of their promise slapped him in the face. "Thanks for… well you know," she inserted awkwardly when Jace made no attempt to speak.

"I am your brother Clary," Jace replied tonelessly. Clary fidgeted where she stood, her fingers stroked the smooth ceramic of a half filled coffee mug. "Are you mad at me" she asked cautiously. Her voice was curious but also slightly _hurt_. After what she'd experienced this morning, first the discovery and then the shower- Clary didn't think she could handle anymore of the _bad_ persuasion. The blond boy didn't answer right away. His silence caused a small lull in conversation. It lasted only a second but already in Clary's mind millions of different scenario Jace's were dumping her, leaving a million more heartbroken Clary's.

"Jace" the girl called to her brother when he still hadn't answered. A hint of fear crept into her voice and though it was only a trace Jace heard it. "No," he replied slowly, and then looked up carefully at the redhead. Her face was pink with heat Jace believed was irritation; but Clary knew was embarrassment. It was incredibly difficult standing this close to Jace after the vivid daydream she'd had. Each time she looked at him it was like they were in the shower all over again. The feeling was unnerving as it was desirable.

"I just forgot I'd be lying," Jace finally said. His tone was neither bitter nor angry, but it made Clary's stomach sag with guilt. Her teeth bit down on her bottom lip as her eyes lifted to reluctantly lock gaze with Jace. His golden irises were tumultuous, as if the flecks in his eyes were moving and rippling. The perceived motion made staring at him unsettling. Worse was the carefully cultivated mask he once again donned. The passive expression completely obscured his features; hiding any glimmer of the Jace Clary had experienced last night. Sharp pinpricks of pain stabbed her heart.

Jace saw the pain on his sister's face but did nothing to ease it. There was nothing he physically _could_ do that would alleviate Clary's feelings. Touch her, hold her, kiss her- all those things were forbidden to him in the light. Even telling her it would be all right wasn't true and Jace could only handle so many lies at once. How ironic, Jace thought, that his life resembled one of those cheap romance novels Isabelle bought. Dashing hero falls in love with pretty damsel, but they can't be together due to some ridiculous circumstance, that is conveniently found false at just the right moment. The only thing missing in Jace's story was the voracious sex- and nick of time miracle. The blond boy doubted he'd ever be so lucky as to have both.

"What does that mean," Clary asked carefully. The step she took toward Jace was unconscious; almost as undecided as the immediate wave of electricity that suddenly reared and crackled to life between them. Clary struggled to push it back, to ask the question waiting on her lips but the feeling could not be held back. It shoved past her defenses and overwhelmed her. Both hot and intoxicating, it immediately burned away all other thoughts in Clary's mind until all she wanted was to feel the source of this pleasurable sensation within her grasp.

Jace felt it too. Felt that heady rush that consumed everything in a blazing inferno of heat. Felt how it burned through everything- thought, consciousness, obligation until the only thing he was aware of was Clary's mouth hovering just in front of him like the sinful temptation it was. This was impossible, Jace realized. He suddenly had new respect for Isabelle's doomed lovers. No matter how hard they tried, they kept falling back into the same self-destructive pit. Jace knew looking at Clary's hooded eyes and pouted lips, that even if someone gave him a shovel right now- he'd never be able to dig himself out.

Shallow breaths puffed out of Clary's mouth but her head continued to spin. She didn't need air- she needed Jace. As it was her body was leaning into him; her head tilting back as that intoxicating need once again cancelled out any rational thought. It burned the back of Clary's throat, pooled heat in her core and made her heart skip in her chest. This was better than her earlier fantasy. This was real.

Jace was so close to her, within her grasp and yet the binds of their promises both held them back. Clary wanted nothing more than to throw herself at Jace, to release her binds and cast off Jace's mask; watch it fall to a thousand little bits and reveal the glorious Jace she knew lay underneath, but Clary also knew she couldn't. She knew that, though she wanted it more than she could say, the repercussions would leave a more lasting impression than the fleeting joy she would feel. _But I need this_, Clary told herself. J_ust one last kiss before I have to pretend._

Jace's eyes were molten gold boring a hole straight through her. His passion filled eyes promised that if Clary moved any closer she'd be on the immediate receiving end. One moment was all Clary wanted; one moment when they didn't have to hide- not yet.

Her throat was too tight; her heart was beating a loud and melodious concerto behind her ribs that thankfully drowned out the guilty voice hissing in her ears. Clary's fingers trembled as she reached into the open air for Jace's hand. Nervousness and fear of rejection made her fingers shake even as the heat from their combined bodies wrapped her hands in warmth.

It was an eternity of time before Clary's fingers met Jace's gold touched skin. Popping fireworks in Clary's stomach exploded upon contact. Jace's skin was smooth, only a few silver white scars disrupting his beautiful gold skin. The caress was light and incredibly gentle but much like last night- this touch struck the match on the gasoline soaked tinder of their efforts and flames engulfed their fraying promise. Jace and Clary finally gave up trying.

The siblings reached for each other at the same time, hands searching desperately for the other's touch. Jace's arms wrapped around Clary's waist as her hands reached for his neck. The feeling was infinitely better than Clary could have imagined. Fiery and passionate, it set Clary's body aflame; kissing her ivory skin with crimson flames only Jace could put out. But Jace didn't put out the flames- he stoked them. His hands around Clary's waist pressed the girl's hips against his, his fingers crept up the fabric of her shirt puckering her skin with his touch.

Jace's body hummed. Clary's tingled. They were greedy with each other, never slowing down the moment like last night, but quickly enjoying what fleeting moments daylight would allow. Jace's scent wafted off his neck and Clary longed to nuzzle it, to kiss the spot and tease the flesh, so everyone could see and know that Jace was _hers_.

They were two halves of a whole meshing together in a perfect bodily union. Both their hearts swelled at the sense of fullness and completion. As if the universe agreed with their intention a cloud rolled over the sun, casting shadows into the previously lit kitchen and cloaking the pair. Clary's lips pouted, more than ready for the pressure of Jace's mouth. Better than I remembered, she numbly thought as her nose filled with the scent of Jace's minty breath and his lips came crashing down -"Clary you in here." The abrupt voice startled the siblings and Clary stumbled backwards, tripping over herself. Jace-graceful even in a calamity- was a lightning strike suddenly across the room. Without glancing back at Jace, Clary knew that their moment was over. Her heart stung but still she tossed a beseeching look to Jace, who pointedly ignored it. "The car wasn't out front," Simon's voice came from the hall.

"And I thought you might've forgot..." his voice dried up as Clary came into view. Her cheeks were visibly flushed, her eyes frantic, and her hands wrung unnaturally white. But that's not what bothered Simon- it was the obvious look of forgetfulness on her face and then that sudden recovery she put up to spare his feelings. Simon held in a sigh and wondered briefly, what it would be like to have a best friend that _didn_'_t_ forget about you.

"Simon" Clary's voice shot up an octave higher than normal. The brunette boy adjusted his glasses with a slight frown. "The gallery, remember" he said plainly. Clary nodded her head with exaggerated effort. "Yeah I remember," she agreed though it was very clear that she had, in fact, forgotten. Simon's eyebrows twitched but he didn't debate with Clary. He knew she had forgotten once again and he knew why. Jace leaned against the far kitchen wall, picking at his nails, a picture of absolute nonchalance and total arrogance. Simon knew with disgust that he was the reason for Clary's sudden mental lapse.

"What's he doing here" Simon asked uncharitably. Clary's anxious face transformed into an unhappy frown. "Jace needs a place to stay," she answered. "Needed" the arrogant boy put in from the corner. The sound of his voice visibly tensed Clary's shoulders Simon noted pleasantly. _Maybe_, he thought delightedly, _they're finally acting like brother and sister_. Not a moment too soon either, Simon decided. Today he was finally going to have that much needed conversation with Clary; the same one Jace had originally interrupted.

The redhead turned and shot Jace a sharp look, though what she was trying to communicate was lost on Simon. "So are we going or not" Simon asked. Clary glanced uncertainly at her brother again. Simon frowned. He'd been planning this day with Clary for weeks. He was the one who'd found the gallery featuring selections from her favorite artist. He was the one who'd suggested they go together. He had even managed to convince the gallery owner, with the aid of a few bills that featuring one Clary Fray original in his next exhibit would sufficiently bring in the new teen clientele he was failing to reach. There was no way in _hell_ that Jace was about to ruin this for Simon. But when Simon caught the tail end of Clary's stern look directed at her brother; his stomach sank with unease.

The redhead turned from her brother and grasped Simon's sleeve, tugging him with surprising force into the hall. The small ivory hand should not have had so much strength, but of course Clary was a Shadowhunter- like Jace.

"I'm sorry Simon but I can't leave Jace alone," Clary said once they stood in the darkening hall. Simon blinked in confusion. She must have been joking- she had to have been. She'd been talking about this gallery opening for a week. There was no way Clary was trying to tell him she couldn't go.

Clary grimaced at Simon's irritated expression. The brunette boy knew as well as she did that it wasn't about leaving Jace alone. If Clary was honest with herself, then she would know that she was afraid Jace would be gone when she came back. No note, no nothing just that lingering feeling of emptiness that always seemed to inhabit her heart after she'd seen Jace. But Clary didn't want to be honest with herself.

"Clary this guy kills _demons,_" Simon retorted dryly_,_ "I think he'll be okay with cable television for a few hours." Clary bit her lip uneasily, "I know that, but he's my brother-"So what, you want to take him _with us" _Simon asked incredulously. Clary's face lit up and on any other occasion Simon would have found it endearing, but not today. "I knew you'd understand," she said with a quick smile then walked back into the kitchen. Simon stood blinking in awe. Had Clary really just invited Jace out with them? Simon frowned darkly as he loped slowly back into the kitchen. Clary had never missed his sarcasm before, he thought, but it seemed lately she was missing everything.

"You're coming with us," the redhead told Jace as she pulled on a hoodie that'd been left hanging on a wooden chair. The blond looked up from his fingernails, surprised. "What," Jace asked, then glanced at the hallway Simon was still sulking in.

"You run that by your event coordinator," he scoffed, "I thought there was only room enough for two." Clary pulled her damp hair out of her hood. "Don't be stupid it's an open gallery anyone can come," she said. Despite her words Clary's heart was beating far too fast in her chest. "And what if I don't want to come" Jace challenged. Clary blushed at his brusque tone and paused to speak- "Then don't," Simon interrupted.

The girl's head snapped up at the sudden intrusion. It was only a moment ago that she was talking to Simon but Clary found that he'd once again slipped her mind. Her friend simply could not compete with Jace's attention, not even in her thoughts. Clary's lip bowed under the pressure of her teeth and she had a feeling that by the end of the day her bottom lip would be scored with bite marks.

Jace's eyebrows carefully knit together as he watched his sister's woeful expression. Already seeds of guilt grew in Clary's chest, flowering bloody red blooms in the form of an S. Her expression teased something forgotten in Jace's chest. "I'll come," he conceded. He pretended not to notice how Clary's eyes suddenly lit up, but it didn't stop his heart throbbing painfully in his chest.

"But I get any modeling requests- "And that's likely to happen," Simon cut in with a raised brow. A real question was present in his tone but Jace could only think that he was becoming a little too adept at interrupting. "Stranger things have happened" Clary piped up, quickly diffusing the building argument. The twinkle was still in her eyes as Jace strode out of the kitchen past the glaring mundane.

Simon watched Clary's eyes follow Jace until all that was left was a memory of his blond hair. A soft wistful sigh escaped her mouth and Simon's eyes clouded. "Stranger things have happened" he muttered under his breath then followed the Shadowhunter into the hallway.

Clary flinched slightly at Simon's tone but otherwise pretended not to have heard and continued after him. The two boys were waiting for her by Luke's front door. Simon leaned against the doorframe crossing his arms, his mouth tight with frustration. Jace, on the other had, oozed calm; looking only just slightly, like he'd been dragged to his mother's book club. Polite and disinterested- but at the same time wondering how the hell he'd gotten here.

Simon's brown eyes took in the redhead approaching him and before she could come any closer, turned and slipped out the door without a backward glance. He didn't slam the door shut, but he didn't have to- the thought was there. Clary groaned internally- there was once a time when she and Simon never fought- Clary wished it was more than just a distant memory.

"Don't worry about him" Jace said from behind her, "he'll get over it."

"I guess" Clary replied reluctantly, but her mournful expression ebbed as she regarded Jace, obvious concern replacing it. Concern that Jace would no longer fulfill his promise after their second close call today.

Jace's body sagged slightly reading her expression rightly. If only Clary could read his mind. Then she'd know that however wrong he knew it to be, Jace could no longer rescind his offer. There was no backing out now.

"What you said earlier," Clary said slowly, "about how you forgot." Each word stirred an ache in her chest she was sure wouldn't fade. It was incredibly difficult for her to say these words. But if Jace couldn't do this, didn't want to; Clary couldn't force him. Her heart shuddered in her chest. "Forget what I said" Jace replied stepping in close. Clary blinked up in surprise.

"I want you Clary" Jace said in a low voice. His hand reached out and landed heavily on hers. To anyone watching it would appear that Jace was helping her close the door, but Clary could feel the way his thumb rubbed against her skin. How the warmth of his hand sent tingles coursing from the epicenter of her core out to her limbs. "But I'll wait until the sun goes down to have you," Jace promised. "_All_ of you," he whispered into her hair. An echo of a shiver slipped down Clary spine.

She licked her lips nervously but her tongue was dry, there was no saliva in her mouth. "You said…" Nervousness made each word harder to speak. "The lying" Clary whispered. "We _lie_ to _live_" Jace said, "not _live_ to _lie_.

Relief was absolute as it flooded through Clary's chest and shone on her face. Joyful delight brightened her smile as Jace allowed his hard mask to slip and let her the tender side he reserved for the cover of night. Clary's mouth opened, possibly to return the sentiment dancing in Jace's eyes but a car horn interrupted before she could.

Clary and Jace's eyes swiveled to the beat up old van, where the agitated mundane sat tapping the wheel; displaying his overt impatience. Irritation twisted Jace's stomach; another moment ruined by the mundane.

"You better go," Jace said after a quick glance at the car stalling at the end of the driveway. Simon's hand lay suspended over the wheel in a silent threat. "Before he gives himself a premature aneurysm" Jace added wryly. Clary's hand trembled slightly as she retracted the key from the lock. The warmth of Jace's hand over hers was like a fitted glove. Breaking the connection was like suddenly dipping her fingers in cold water.

"Tonight" Clary asked softly. Her green eyes were wide and hopeful staring at Jace. The blond boy glanced past her at Simon waiting in the car. "Jace" Clary's anxious tone rang clear in the bright morning. Her eyes were round with worry and Jace wished he could kiss it away. He settled for a slight nod and Clary's tight shoulders relaxed. She pocketed her key and raced down the steps with one last look at Jace.

He was watching her. His posture casual, despite the topic of their conversation, his hands in his pockets; but his eyes- Jace's eyes promised Clary, that however long today was she was in for a much longer night.

A car horn went off cutting through the crisp morning air. Breaking off the stare, Clary turned and jogged toward Simon. She smiled as she ran- repeating Jace's words in her head. _Yes_, she thought, _Tonight was going to be a long night_. From behind her running figure Jace smiled in agreement.

* * *

Thanks for Reading! And seriously if you even have one measly name of an artist PM me. It would be a great help.[ Also did anyone notice the allusion to the _Scarlet Letter_. I'm reading it in my English Class. Kudos to anyone who guesses what the scarlet S is- not that much of a challenge but still.]

Thanks again for reading and reviewing.


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